A rapid rundown of the first 1000 years of “German” history starting with Julius Caesar naming the people living east of the Rhine “Germans”. The battle in the Teutoburg forest may look like a major German victory that kept Rome out, but the reality is a lot more prosaic. Germanic tribesmen became the mainstay of the legions, fighting off their cousins from across the wall, but were never really admitted into Roman society – something about their sense of humour I suppose. After the Western Empire had fallen the Merovingians under Clovis ruled most of Europe when they were not engaged in fratricide/matricide or enforcing haircuts. The Carolingians finally forged a mighty empire out of the Merovingian pieces, bringing about a cultural renaissance. A German history starting in the Middle Ages when the emperors fought an epic struggle with the papacy to the Reformation, the great 18th century of Kant, Goethe, Gauss, the rise of Prussia and the horrors of the Nazi regime. We will end with the post-war period of moral and physical rebuilding. As Gregory of Tours (539-594) said: “A great many things keep happening, some good, some bad” .